Thanksgiving Day 2010 came and went without any more celebration than sucking on some curried stone crab at a neighborhood seafood joint. It was tasty, but it sure as hell wasn't turkey. My wife Dao didn't quite understand my problem because she had never tasted turkey. I decided it was time to take action.
For most of my family and friends, this wouldn't be much of a big deal. Just run down to the supermarket, grab a frozen young tom for less than a buck a pound, let it thaw, stick it in a pan, shove it in the oven for a few hours. If you're a bit more sophisticated you could brine it or rub it, stuff it and baste it, deep fry it or smoke it.
But this is a country whose markets have, at least so far, proven immune to the annual outbreak of turkey pox suffered by their American counterparts. And the apartments here don't come with kitchens, let alone ovens. Who the hell wants to bake cookies when it's 95 degrees F outside?
So first we had to get an oven. We ended up going to Central Department Store, which has been a godsend for selection of home furnishings (and likewise a curse for the wallet). Nearby Central at Rama III had several options ranging from small toaster ovens to massive counter-top convection units that even had burners embedded in their roofs. We chose something in between, featuring two racks and a rotisserie set-up, just right (I thought at the time) for roasting a whole turkey breast.
Now it was time to find a whole turkey breast. Or any turkey whatsoever.
By making a few phone calls, Dao saved me the frustration of wandering around the city getting laughed at. She found two supermarket chains in Bangkok that sell frozen turkey during the winter holidays: Foodland and The Villa Market. Both chains have multiple locations throughout the metro area, specifically in foreigner-friendly neighborhoods, and both have decent selections of reasonably priced European, American and Australian products as well as extensive delis and tiny but attractive bakeries.
The Foodland we had been going to for our other farang-food projects is located down one of the most vile tourist holes in the city (Patpong Soi 2), but they carried only the Butterball frozen boneless breast. We tried a Villa location, close to the Chong Nonsi BTS stop, which turned out to be even closer to our apartment than the Patpong Slutville Foodland is. In addition to the Butterball breast logs, Villa had one full Norbest breast in the case. Weighing in at around seven pounds, it cost about 1200 baht (almost $40) - outrageous by American standards, but not bad considering the meat's lengthy journey from home. After some hand-wringing I sucked it up, broke out the credit card, and walked out of there the proud father of a brand-new baby turkey breast.
Well, when we got the baby home I realized it was way too big for the oven. Not so big that you couldn't shove it in there, but doing so would fill the entire space and push parts of the turkey up against the elements in the roof. I'd been talking and talking about the turkey for almost two weeks now, and Dao was getting a little bit bored with me. While the meat thawed in the fridge for a couple days, I had to come up with a realistic plan for actually cooking it - and everything else that a Thanksgiving feast calls for.
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